After I gave birth to Alessandria Summer, I was overjoyed because I can finally hold the baby that I had in my womb for 9 months. During my days in the hospital, me and my husband always visit our baby in the NICU just to see her and check how she’s doing. After 3 days in the hospital, we already went home together with our little bundle of joy. The first week was really hard for me. I had a sudden feeling of sadness, anxiety,mood swings, and restlessness. I had bouts of crying and irritability. Having a baby is exciting but a big challenge most especially for a first time mom like me.
My baby blues became even worse when I cannot breastfeed my baby. There was no milk coming out of my breasts. I had a hard time pumping the milk out for almost 5 days after birth. My breasts are tender, full and was so painful because the milk inside it are stuck and just won’t come out. When my baby is crying for hunger, I was also weeping and so down because I cannot provide her what she wants. I am really thankful to my husband because he was always there to cheer me up and help me pump the milk out. We both gave our full efforts, he motivates me to keep on pumping until the milk comes out. And when I can finally breastfeed my baby, it helped to ease my baby blues. Aside from that, I also had negative thoughts that I cannot enjoy life anymore, that I will not be able to achieve my goals and dreams anymore, that I don’t have time for myself and was feeling ugly and down.Adjusting to mommyhood was not easy. Having sleepless nights, changing baby’s diaper all the time and attending to every cries was also the reason behind my baby blues. But as time goes by, I’m getting used to it. Just seeing my baby comfortable and at ease makes me feel delighted. I also asks my mommy friends for tips on how they deal with certain situations. Being a part of a group for all mommies also helped me to cope up with baby blues.
I don’t want to isolate myself because I know it can make the depression worse. Socializing really helps!
My negative thoughts are not true. Spending time with our little one gives me a different kind of happiness. Just seeing her smile, sleep, hearing her funny little noises and always being there for her is the kind of happiness that I’ve never felt before. I can still and will have time for myself. Achieving my goals and dreams are still possible.
I know this is just the beginning of our journey as first time parents. There are more demands and challenges to come. The key is to enjoy the road and think of how lucky we are to have such a huge blessing from above.